Posts Tagged ‘stress’

Are Parents Setting Kids Up For Failure By Pushing Too Hard For Success?

It’s only natural that we, as parents, try to give our children all the skills and opportunities to help them reach their goals in life. We all go about this task differently. As you will read in the article below, some of us go a little too far. The end result is the possibility that all we have indeed accomplished is to drive our kids to the point of burn-out and stress. This article is food for thought. If you recognize yourself in this article perhaps you will take the message to heart and redirect your attention.

Are Parents Setting Kids Up For Failure
By Pushing Too Hard for Success?

By Lylah M. Alphonse, Senior Editor, Yahoo Shine/Team Mom

Are parents harming kids by focusing on the wrong definition of success?

No matter your socioeconomic status, as parents you want your kids to have a better life than you do. But instead of launching a generation of happy young adults who feel driven to succeed, parents who are hyper-focused on doing everything “right” have created a country full of kids who are stressed-out, burned-out, and depressed. According to psychologist and author Madeline Levine, “Our current version of success is a failure.”

In her new book, “Teach Your Children Well: Parenting for Authentic Success,” Levine says that parents are preoccupied with “a narrow and shortsighted vision of success,” and that we rely on our kids to “provide status and meaning in our own lives.” It’s a harmful combination, weighing kids down with serious issues — “stress, exhaustion, depression, anxiety, poor coping skills, and unhealthy reliance on others for support and direction, and a weak sense of self,” Levine says — when we should be trying to teach them to be resilient and independent if we really want them to succeed in life. Read the rest of this entry »

Step Back. Breathe. Be A Spectator.

Stress – The word that dominates the 21st century. At least that is how it might seem to many of us. Stress reaches out to all of us. It’s the string that wraps up our packages filled with family, jobs, home ownership, living conditions, financial obligations, and every other expectation we place on ourselves. Trust me, I know what I’m talking about. When I look back at the things I’ve had to handle in my life I realize that my ability to handle stress has been challenged over and over again.

To give you a rough idea of some of the obstacles I’ve faced I’ll give you a quick synopsis of some of the life issues I am familiar with. I have been involved in the start of a new business three times. Consequently I am very familiar with the ins and outs of business ownership. Not a fun thing during, oh let’s see now, three recessions. I have a family. I have owned two homes in my lifetime. I have moved eight times since I married. I have family members who live clear across the country which makes it very hard to be a part of their lives. Holidays can really suck sometimes. I decided to go to college at an age that was not exactly the demographic you think of for college. Consequently I am still paying off my student loans. I think that paints a picture of where I’ve been and some of what I’ve been through. Happy times – YES! Some sad and very stressful times, unfortunately – YES to that too.

There have been times along the way when I honestly didn’t know how I’d make it through to the other side. I went on a journey – reading all sorts of books. Studying different religions and philosophies. I guess you could say I was on a quest to find my center. A place I could go to under all circumstances that would allow me to escape what was going on at that moment and give me the perspective to move forward with deliberate thought and a plan of action. I know that sounds like a long process. Probably sounds like a bunch of hooey to some of you too. I’m not talking about embracing a monumental shift in any of your philosophical or religious dogma. It is a way to escape everything for a split second. It is a way that allows you to refocus on what is truly important. A triage, if you will, to put everything in its proper place of importance and urgency.

Three steps: Step Back. Breathe. Be A Spectator.

Read the rest of this entry »

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