Posts Tagged ‘responsibility’

The Adults We Are Creating

helicopterParentRecently I’ve heard stories about the way our kids are getting along in the “real world”. Not my kids, all kids. I’ve heard tales from a college source and tales from the job world. While some kids are doing just great others have not yet mastered what today’s reality is all about. I’m not talking about current events, I’m talking about dealing with day-to-day expectations and basically being self-reliant and able to cope with the “stresses” of daily life.

I’m not here to judge, only pass along some info that might give parents a different perspective on the outcome of some of the ways you are nurturing your kids. Here are a few examples: Read the rest of this entry »

Kids. Clothes. Choices. Oh my…

A great way to express one’s individuality is through the clothes you choose to wear. The end result can be interesting and expressive when it’s an adult accomplishment – humorous, playful and sometimes “out there” when it’s a child. I have to say, for me, clothing/fashion, is always a statement. It’s a very personal way to show off how you feel about yourself and your place in this world. It’s a way of expressing emotions. Like any design element, it initiates thought and a conversation. Whether you engage a person based on what they are wearing or spend time with them in your mind, you are giving them some consideration. Who is this person? Wonder what they like/don’t like? What do they do? All sorts of things run through your mind. You may not even be aware of it. As your brain scans what your eyes see it instantly starts to form an opinion, a relationship, and decides how you relate to what you’ve just seen.

As our kids get older they eventually reach the stage where they learn to dress themselves. A huge accomplishment for a child. At this point they are so proud of this new skill that it doesn’t really matter to them which pair of socks they’ve learned to put on. Just the fact that they can get that blue sock on their foot is good enough for them. Time goes by and they begin to recognize that all clothes are not the same. I like the hoodie my brother wears to school. I don’t like the pants my mom bought me to wear to grandma’s birthday party. At this point kids are learning that they can make choices. They are developing their own sense of themselves. Their personalities start to shine. As a parent, the worst thing you can do is forget that each child is unique. At this stage in their development you have to take a step back and let them show you who they want to be.

Aside from all of the benchmarks and benefits associated with the newfound discovery of the ability to chose, there are some interesting family dynamics that accompany this phase in your child’s life. I’ll post some links for you if you’re interested in the child development aspects of all of this. For now, let’s explore some of the fun and contentious moments involving what your kids choose to wear. Read the rest of this entry »

Are You A Logical Or Emotional Parent?

Let us begin this conversation with some basic definitions.

Emotional is defined as of or relating to a person’s emotions. Arousing or characterized by intense feeling. A person having feelings that are easily excited and openly displayed.

Logical is defined as of or according to the rules of logic or formal argument. Characterized by or capable of clear, sound reasoning. An action, development or decision that is natural or sensible given the circumstances.

With that out of the way, can you now answer the question: Are you a logical or emotional parent? I would bet that given certain circumstances you would be able to answer yes to both types of parenting. Which one is predominant for you? Which one is habitual? Read the rest of this entry »

It’s Right In Front Of Your Nose

I couldn’t tell you how many times I’ve heard the bellow of someone in my family yelling out in exasperation that they couldn’t find what they were looking for. This proclamation is accompanied by a not so subtle insinuation that I, personally, am responsible for their inability to find this one particular item. According to the offended party, in each and every case I did something to make this item incapable of being found. The items I’m talking about run the gamut from food items to pieces of clothing to homework and on and on… Why they come to the conclusion that I am the culprit, I will never know.

It is my regular routine as far as housecleaning goes to be pretty darn easy-going about the quantity of clutter and filth I will tolerate. It is only at a time when I’ve reached the threshold of utter disgust that I will explode into action and move everything in sight. There is usually a fair amount of hints and cajoling prior to my unleashing my one-man cleanliness brigade. A once cluttered countertop is now open for business. A pile of clothes is now sorted and in the proper drawer or on a hanger. The canned goods are stacked. The refrigerator is now organized. The random stuff that spreads out in every room has either found a home or is waiting for its owner to claim it and put it away. You would think that people would appreciate the effort. No, that is not the case. Instead I hear whining and moaning that this or that is now missing.

It goes something like this: Read the rest of this entry »

Why Is Everything “Gross” Mom’s Problem?

It doesn’t matter how big or how small your family is, it should be obvious to each family member that they are part of a unit and therefore liable to share the burden of chores and such around the house. Kids are taught to participate from an early age. I think when it comes to what you’re asking of them – they get it pretty quickly. Now compliance with those expectations is another matter all together. We’re all familiar with the expression, “knowing is half the battle”. Sometimes knowing is the beginning of the battle.

Over the years it’s become pretty obvious to me that I am responsible for every gross thing that occurs inside and outside of my house. I did not aspire to hold that position in my family – it was awarded to me by my spouse and children. I know for a fact that I’ve made it perfectly clear to them that I am not flattered by this designation. So, it comes down to two things: 1) they know what’s expected of them and chose to ignore that obligation or 2) they know what’s expected of them and just don’t feel like it. You’re thinking… that sounds pretty much the same. It really isn’t. For me, if you chose to ignore something you are deliberately saying “no”. If you just don’t feel like it you’ve given it some thought and decided you just don’t feel like this time. Maybe next time you’ll think differently, but for now, I don’t think so. And this is the reasoning I think I am facing most of the time when it comes to gross stuff.

What exactly is gross stuff, you ask? It is comprised of a myriad of things, all disgusting in their own way. A nasty odor is often involved. A particular texture or oozing gooey consistency can be part of it. A direct connection to germs is another possibility. Would you like some examples? I’ll share some with you now. Read the rest of this entry »

Parenting a Multiple Children Household

Recently I was reminiscing about my childhood, growing up as an only child until I was ten. I grew up convinced that if I ever had kids I would have at least two. And on top of that they would be closer in age than ten years. No surprise then that my family welcomed two boys – two and half years apart. Ah, but the plot thickens as one of my boys now has a family of four of his own. That’s what got me thinking about the family dynamics of one child, two kids, and then three, four or more children. The required love and attention are the same, but the process can be significantly different when you have one child versus four. So let’s take a look at some of the challenges of parenting a multiple children household. Read the rest of this entry »

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