Posts Tagged ‘parenting’

The Importance of Being Grateful

gratitude_rockIt is becoming more and more apparent to me that too many kids live in a world of want and don’t know how to express gratitude for what they already have. I realize that there are an infinite amount of variables that make up each child’s environment and the quality of the nurturing they receive. I am a big proponent of the concept of BALANCE. Without going all philosophical on you here I see life as a balance between the good and the bad, the want and the need, the beautiful and the less pleasing. For me everything exists for a reason. In order to conclude that something is beautiful, let’s say, you would need to perceive that something is ugly. You need something to compare it to in order to realize that one seems beautiful and the other not so much. I hope you get what I’m trying to explain here.

Today it seems that so many of our kids live in a world they believe should be filled with only the positive aspects of life. They feel entitled to beauty, fame, success, and material wealth and comfort. Why they feel this way is for another post… If you live in a world where you expect only the best it’s easy to forget or even not be aware of your good fortunes and become disgruntled and angry at a state of being that puts you in a less than beautiful, famous, successful, or comfortable place. I actually get where this indignation comes from. If you are never taught to be grateful for what you have you can’t possibly recognize that some instances of want are not life shattering, perpetual, or so burdensome that you will not be able to arrive on the other side of this want without some sort of scar.  Read the rest of this entry »

Making “The Call” – Contacting Child Protective Services

First off it is important to note that services provided by Child Protective Services may differ based on state and locality. For this article I am going to work with information confined to the state of Oregon.

?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????For any adult or aware individual one of the most heartbreaking scenarios to envision is coming upon a case of child neglect or abuse. You may think you understand how to recognize these situations based on things you have read or seen in the news or unfortunately been touched personally by an event. That being the case I am still betting that if and when the time comes you will have a gut reaction unlike anything you’ve experienced before. In front of your eyes is empirical evidence of neglect and/or abuse. That other-worldly detachment is all to real at that moment. At that instant you realize that you have a combined reaction of disgust, fear, concern, dismay, and either a call to action or an uneasy paralysis of conviction and motivation.

When should you call CPS?
  • Clues > Certain behaviors are indicators of abuse or neglect. If you become aware of these indicators don’t ignore you instincts. A regularly outgoing child becomes withdrawn and sullen. A child who normally interacts with his peers now shies away from the group. Lack of appetite. The sudden onset of discipline problems in school and otherwise doing poorly in school. Granted, these indicators are not proof in and of themselves of anything except your keen observation that something is “different”. You must weigh the information you’ve accumulated and based on what you see and hear decide when the time to make “the call” has arrived. Obvious physical abuse should not be tolerated. Emotional abuse and neglect in other ways may be more difficult to ascertain. If you encounter this child regularly please pay attention to the signs.
Do act
  • Do act if you have concrete evidence
  • Do act if you are a mandatory reporter and you suspect neglect or abuse.
Do not act
  • Do not act if your motivation is out of spite or some feud with the parent or guardian
  • Do not act if you are not sure of what you have observed. Perhaps you have misinterpreted an event. Be confident in your ability to relay proof of suspected neglect or abuse. Even in this case if your gut is telling you that something is wrong, trust your instincts.
  • Don’t let fear of your identity being reported stop you from making “the call”. Most states allow for anonymous reporting to CPS. It is common that your name will not be released to the family involved.
  • Don’t fear the fact that those investigating your report will need to have your contact information as they investigate.
In the face of an obvious emergency call 911
or your local CPS reporting hotline.

Deciding whether it’s time to call or not is a decision only you can make. It is always better to err on the side of protecting a child from harm than worrying about making a “mistake”. Children in abusive situations are rarely able to ask for help. As with most children they are dependent on the adults in their life who are responsible for their care. Your call could be a lifeline to a better life.

If you’d like more information about Child Protective Services and the reporting process, I’ve pulled some articles for you. Here are the links:

By Gret Boyd

Stay Strong When Dealing With Tantrums

temper tantrum_boyI would suspect that any person who has ever been responsible for caring for a child has at one time or another encountered the dreaded tantrum. Tantrums run the gamut. They can crop up when a child is overtired or overstimulated causing them to act out. Perhaps it’s the tad bossy child who wants to control a situation. Sometimes it’s a child determined to do something or possess something. Each scenario is different as is each child’s way of orchestrating their drama fest.

As a parent or caregiver we all come to know our kid’s way of being. We recognize the cues leading up to drama and we eventually learn some tactics to combat an out of control situation. Inevitably there will come the time or two or three or more when your child gives in to the urge to be in total control. At that moment they have no self control. The only force working is the desire to have or to do what they have their sights set on. Don’t think logic or reason will work when in the throws of this type of drama. It’s a whole new ballgame and you have to scope out your opponent and come up with a fresh game plan on the spot. It’s a time to realize that quitters never win.   Read the rest of this entry »

The Adults We Are Creating

helicopterParentRecently I’ve heard stories about the way our kids are getting along in the “real world”. Not my kids, all kids. I’ve heard tales from a college source and tales from the job world. While some kids are doing just great others have not yet mastered what today’s reality is all about. I’m not talking about current events, I’m talking about dealing with day-to-day expectations and basically being self-reliant and able to cope with the “stresses” of daily life.

I’m not here to judge, only pass along some info that might give parents a different perspective on the outcome of some of the ways you are nurturing your kids. Here are a few examples: Read the rest of this entry »

‘Thigh Gap’: New Teen Body Obsession?

photo of 'thigh gap'I caught this segment on ABC’s Good Morning America this morning. Apparently a ‘thigh gap’ is the latest must have in order to have the “perfect” body. This obsession is rampant among teens and I’m sure tweens too. Unfortunately, these girls don’t realize that 99.9% of the photos they see in magazines have been retouched to death. OK, some women are born that way. I would venture to guess that the majority of us were not. If nothing else this article will give a parent a heads-up on a potential body image issue. 

‘Thigh Gap’: New Teen Body Obsession?

Read the rest of this entry »

The Stories That Bind Us

What is your family’s narrative? Are there stories passed down from generation to generation? The following article will make you realize the importance and impact of your stories about family struggles and success. You’ll come to realize it’s the glue that binds your family together and helps each member realize their place in a legacy that’s bigger than themselves.

The Stories That Bind Us

Read the rest of this entry »

Kids. Clothes. Choices. Oh my…

A great way to express one’s individuality is through the clothes you choose to wear. The end result can be interesting and expressive when it’s an adult accomplishment – humorous, playful and sometimes “out there” when it’s a child. I have to say, for me, clothing/fashion, is always a statement. It’s a very personal way to show off how you feel about yourself and your place in this world. It’s a way of expressing emotions. Like any design element, it initiates thought and a conversation. Whether you engage a person based on what they are wearing or spend time with them in your mind, you are giving them some consideration. Who is this person? Wonder what they like/don’t like? What do they do? All sorts of things run through your mind. You may not even be aware of it. As your brain scans what your eyes see it instantly starts to form an opinion, a relationship, and decides how you relate to what you’ve just seen.

As our kids get older they eventually reach the stage where they learn to dress themselves. A huge accomplishment for a child. At this point they are so proud of this new skill that it doesn’t really matter to them which pair of socks they’ve learned to put on. Just the fact that they can get that blue sock on their foot is good enough for them. Time goes by and they begin to recognize that all clothes are not the same. I like the hoodie my brother wears to school. I don’t like the pants my mom bought me to wear to grandma’s birthday party. At this point kids are learning that they can make choices. They are developing their own sense of themselves. Their personalities start to shine. As a parent, the worst thing you can do is forget that each child is unique. At this stage in their development you have to take a step back and let them show you who they want to be.

Aside from all of the benchmarks and benefits associated with the newfound discovery of the ability to chose, there are some interesting family dynamics that accompany this phase in your child’s life. I’ll post some links for you if you’re interested in the child development aspects of all of this. For now, let’s explore some of the fun and contentious moments involving what your kids choose to wear. Read the rest of this entry »

Birthday Parties – Necessity, Obsession, or Treat?

Birthday Parties – Necessity, Obsession, or Treat?

Today on the morning news I saw a story about a man in Florida who has saved his business by offering alligator pool parties for birthdays. The man is experienced with alligators, mind you, and so he feels that it’s a perfectly safe offering. He must know something about the current state of birthday parties because he is doing quite well with this endeavor. Here is the link to the news story if you’re interested in seeing what his alligator pool parties are like.

Anyway, this got me thinking…

  • Do parents feel obligated to have a birthday party EVERY year for their child?
  • If you do have a party, MUST it be a big event in order to be considered successful?
  • Have you ever spent more than you know you could afford on a birthday party?
  • What would happen if you toned down your child’s future birthday parties?

Read the rest of this entry »

Are You A Logical Or Emotional Parent?

Let us begin this conversation with some basic definitions.

Emotional is defined as of or relating to a person’s emotions. Arousing or characterized by intense feeling. A person having feelings that are easily excited and openly displayed.

Logical is defined as of or according to the rules of logic or formal argument. Characterized by or capable of clear, sound reasoning. An action, development or decision that is natural or sensible given the circumstances.

With that out of the way, can you now answer the question: Are you a logical or emotional parent? I would bet that given certain circumstances you would be able to answer yes to both types of parenting. Which one is predominant for you? Which one is habitual? Read the rest of this entry »

Is Your Family Suffering From Over-Scheduling?

It’s so easy to get caught up in a glut of activities and scheduled appointments these days. Trying to make everyone in the family happy and engaged can lead to over-scheduling and the potential for burnout. This article puts it all into perspective.

Is Your Family Suffering From Over-Scheduling?
Know The Warning Signs!

Read the rest of this entry »

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