LilyToad

Northwest’s Largest Family Expos

LilyToad — Sat, 13 Apr 2013 14:23:54 +0000

NW’s Largest Family Expo / KidFest! BabyFest! CampFest! SportFest!

—

Most Mothers Give Infants Solid Food Too Early

LilyToad — Mon, 25 Mar 2013 15:44:21 +0000

Came across this article online. Interesting discussion about the best age to start an infant on solid food. What do you think? Any comments? Share…

Most Mothers Give Infants Solid Food Too Early

By Rachael Rettner, MyHealthDaily Staff Writer / LiveScience.com

More than a third of U.S. mothers start feeding their infants solid food too soon, a new study finds.

In the study, 40 percent of mothers said they gave their infants solid foods before the age of 4 months, which is earlier than recommended. About 24 percent of mothers who breast-fed, and 53 percent of mothers who formula-fed, gave their babies solid food too early.

At the time the study was conducted (between 2005 and 2007), the American Academy of Pediatricsrecommended infants start solid foods no earlier than 4 months. Currently, the AAP recommends waiting until 6 months. Until that time, the AAP recommends breast milk as the sole food for infants (along with necessarily vitamin supplements).

The new findings are concerning because infants may not be developmentally ready for solid foods before 4 months of age (they may have troubling eating and swallow the food properly), the researchers said. Studies have also linked the early introduction of solid foods with an increased risk of chronic diseases later in life, such as obesity and eczema. In addition, starting babies on solid foods early may reduce the duration of breastfeeding, and breastfeeding itself has been shown to have many health benefits for kids.

The findings highlight the need for better communication about when mothers should start their infants on solid foods, and the risks of giving these foods too early, said study researcher Kelley Scanlon, an epidemiologist at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s Division of Nutrition, Physical Activity and Obesity.

The study surveyed 1,334 women before they gave birth, and nearly every month during the first year of the baby’s life. Moms were asked to report any solid foods their babies ate in the last week.

The most common reason mothers gave for starting their babies on solid food before 4 months was “My baby was old enough to begin eating solid food.” This shows that “A large proportion of women are not aware that that is too early,” Scanlon said.

Other reasons were: “My baby seemed hungry a lot of the time,” “My baby wanted the food I ate,” and “I wanted to feed my baby something in addition to breast milk or formula.” More than 50 percent of mothers in the study said a doctor told them their baby could start solid food before 4 months.

Mothers may turn to a variety of sources for information on when to start their infants on solid foods, and these sources may provide conflicting advice, the researchers said. In addition, many health care providers say they have inadequate training on infant feeding practices.

“Pediatricians and other health care providers need to provide clear and accurate guidance” to women about when to start solid foods “and support them carrying out that recommendation,” Scanlon said.

For instance, some women may start their infant on solid foods sooner because they think that theirbabies’ crying indicates they are still hungry. But babies cry for a lot of reasons, and better interpretation of these cries (with the help of a doctor) may prevent some women from starting solid foods too early, Scanlon aid.

Because the study participants were predominantly white and had a moderate income, the findings may not apply to the population as a whole. In fact, because mothers of lower socioeconomic status are at higher risk of starting solid food early, the new findings could be an underestimate, the researchers said.

The study is published today (March 25) in the journal Pediatrics.

—

‘Thigh Gap’: New Teen Body Obsession?

LilyToad — Mon, 25 Mar 2013 14:09:12 +0000

I caught this segment on ABC’s Good Morning America this morning. Apparently a ‘thigh gap’ is the latest must have in order to have the “perfect” body. This obsession is rampant among teens and I’m sure tweens too. Unfortunately, these girls don’t realize that 99.9% of the photos they see in magazines have been retouched to death. OK, some women are born that way. I would venture to guess that the majority of us were not. If nothing else this article will give a parent a heads-up on a potential body image issue.

‘Thigh Gap’: New Teen Body Obsession?

via ABC News

A new body trend is apparently becoming an obsession among teenage girls.

It’s the thigh gap — a clear space, or gap, that can be seen between the thighs when a girl is standing with her knees together. Some runway models have it, and teen girls want it.

“Good Morning America” sat down with four high school juniors from a New Jersey Chapter of Students Against Destructive Decisions to discuss this latest trend.

The four girls told ABC News’ Juju Chang that they all had friends that were intent on achieving the thigh gap.

Emily Rozansky told Chang that, for many teens, the thigh gap symbolized “the ideal body shape.”

Social media sites such as Tumblr, Facebook and Twitter have devotees who flood the zone with images of thigh gaps, bony collarbones and confidence-crushing messages disguised as “inspiration” for staying thin.

Some of the most popular pictures showcase very thin girls with protruding hip bones and a thigh gap.

The teens told Chang that the sites make them feel they have to conform.

Angela DePalma, 16, said: ”I see those pictures on Tumblr and stuff and I think that wow, like, they look so good. And then I realize how unhealthy that is.”

Tumblr says it discourages blogs that actively promote or glorify self-harm.

According to teen psychologist Barbara Greenberg, statistics show that 80 percent of girls dislike their bodies by the time they are 17 years old. That, combined with a tendency to overshare, makes teen girls vulnerable to even the most subtle messages.

A quick online search brings up page after page of thigh gap inspiration photos and supporters. Experts say the images alone can lead to self-destructive behavior, especially since the thigh gap is, for most girls, an unrealistic standard of beauty.

Greenberg said teens who were pursuing a thigh gap were “setting themselves up for not only an unattainable goal but for an unsustainable goal.

“Even if they reach it, it’s going to be very hard for them to maintain it,” she said.

Surprisingly, some girls’ motivation to have a thigh gap isn’t to make themselves more desirable to boys. The New Jersey students told Chang that some boys don’t even notice it.

It’s strictly a girl thing, affecting popularity and status, they said.

—

The Stories That Bind Us

LilyToad — Fri, 22 Mar 2013 14:10:07 +0000

What is your family’s narrative? Are there stories passed down from generation to generation? The following article will make you realize the importance and impact of your stories about family struggles and success. You’ll come to realize it’s the glue that binds your family together and helps each member realize their place in a legacy that’s bigger than themselves.

The Stories That Bind Us

Families may want to create a mission statement similar to the ones many companies use to identify their core values. Art/Sarah Williamson

by Bruce Feiler / This Life / NYTimes.com

I hit the breaking point as a parent a few years ago. It was the week of my extended family’s annual gathering in August, and we were struggling with assorted crises. My parents were aging; my wife and I were straining under the chaos of young children; my sister was bracing to prepare her preteens for bullying, sex and cyberstalking.

Sure enough, one night all the tensions boiled over. At dinner, I noticed my nephew texting under the table. I knew I shouldn’t say anything, but I couldn’t help myself and asked him to stop.

Ka-boom! My sister snapped at me to not discipline her child. My dad pointed out that my girls were the ones balancing spoons on their noses. My mom said none of the grandchildren had manners. Within minutes, everyone had fled to separate corners.

Later, my dad called me to his bedside. There was a palpable sense of fear I couldn’t remember hearing before.

“Our family’s falling apart,” he said.

“No it’s not,” I said instinctively. “It’s stronger than ever.”

But lying in bed afterward, I began to wonder: Was he right? What is the secret sauce that holds a family together? What are the ingredients that make some families effective, resilient, happy?

It turns out to be an astonishingly good time to ask that question. The last few years have seen stunning breakthroughs in knowledge about how to make families, along with other groups, work more effectively.

Myth-shattering research has reshaped our understanding of dinnertime, discipline and difficult conversations. Trendsetting programs from Silicon Valley and the military have introduced techniques for making teams function better.

The only problem: most of that knowledge remains ghettoized in these subcultures, hidden from the parents who need it most. I spent the last few years trying to uncover that information, meeting families, scholars and experts ranging from peace negotiators to online game designers to Warren Buffett’s bankers.

After a while, a surprising theme emerged. The single most important thing you can do for your family may be the simplest of all: develop a strong family narrative.

I first heard this idea from Marshall Duke, a colorful psychologist at Emory University. In the mid-1990s, Dr. Duke was asked to help explore myth and ritual in American families.

“There was a lot of research at the time into the dissipation of the family,” he told me at his home in suburban Atlanta. “But we were more interested in what families could do to counteract those forces.”

Around that time, Dr. Duke’s wife, Sara, a psychologist who works with children with learning disabilities, noticed something about her students.

“The ones who know a lot about their families tend to do better when they face challenges,” she said.

Her husband was intrigued, and along with a colleague, Robyn Fivush, set out to test her hypothesis. They developed a measure called the “Do You Know?” scale that asked children to answer 20 questions.

Examples included: Do you know where your grandparents grew up? Do you know where your mom and dad went to high school? Do you know where your parents met? Do you know an illness or something really terrible that happened in your family? Do you know the story of your birth?

Dr. Duke and Dr. Fivush asked those questions of four dozen families in the summer of 2001, and taped several of their dinner table conversations. They then compared the children’s results to a battery of psychological tests the children had taken, and reached an overwhelming conclusion. The more children knew about their family’s history, the stronger their sense of control over their lives, the higher their self-esteem and the more successfully they believed their families functioned. The “Do You Know?” scale turned out to be the best single predictor of children’s emotional health and happiness.

“We were blown away,” Dr. Duke said.

And then something unexpected happened. Two months later was Sept. 11. As citizens, Dr. Duke and Dr. Fivush were horrified like everyone else, but as psychologists, they knew they had been given a rare opportunity: though the families they studied had not been directly affected by the events, all the children had experienced the same national trauma at the same time. The researchers went back and reassessed the children.

“Once again,” Dr. Duke said, “the ones who knew more about their families proved to be more resilient, meaning they could moderate the effects of stress.”

Why does knowing where your grandmother went to school help a child overcome something as minor as a skinned knee or as major as a terrorist attack?

“The answers have to do with a child’s sense of being part of a larger family,” Dr. Duke said.

Psychologists have found that every family has a unifying narrative, he explained, and those narratives take one of three shapes.

First, the ascending family narrative: “Son, when we came to this country, we had nothing. Our family worked. We opened a store. Your grandfather went to high school. Your father went to college. And now you. …”

Second is the descending narrative: “Sweetheart, we used to have it all. Then we lost everything.”

“The most healthful narrative,” Dr. Duke continued, “is the third one. It’s called the oscillating family narrative: ‘Dear, let me tell you, we’ve had ups and downs in our family. We built a family business. Your grandfather was a pillar of the community. Your mother was on the board of the hospital. But we also had setbacks. You had an uncle who was once arrested. We had a house burn down. Your father lost a job. But no matter what happened, we always stuck together as a family.’ ”

Dr. Duke said that children who have the most self-confidence have what he and Dr. Fivush call a strong “intergenerational self.” They know they belong to something bigger than themselves.

Leaders in other fields have found similar results. Many groups use what sociologists call sense-making, the building of a narrative that explains what the group is about.

Jim Collins, a management expert and author of “Good to Great,” told me that successful human enterprises of any kind, from companies to countries, go out of their way to capture their core identity. In Mr. Collins’s terms, they “preserve core, while stimulating progress.” The same applies to families, he said.

Mr. Collins recommended that families create a mission statement similar to the ones companies and other organizations use to identify their core values.

The military has also found that teaching recruits about the history of their service increases their camaraderie and ability to bond more closely with their unit.

Cmdr. David G. Smith is the chairman of the department of leadership, ethics and law at the Naval Academy and an expert in unit cohesion, the Pentagon’s term for group morale. Until recently, the military taught unit cohesion by “dehumanizing” individuals, Commander Smith said. Think of the bullying drill sergeants in “Full Metal Jacket” or “An Officer and a Gentleman.”

But these days the military spends more time building up identity through communal activities. At the Naval Academy, Commander Smith advises graduating seniors to take incoming freshmen (or plebes) on history-building exercises, like going to the cemetery to pay tribute to the first naval aviator or visiting the original B-1 aircraft on display on campus.

Dr. Duke recommended that parents pursue similar activities with their children. Any number of occasions work to convey this sense of history: holidays, vacations, big family get-togethers, even a ride to the mall. The hokier the family’s tradition, he said, the more likely it is to be passed down. He mentioned his family’s custom of hiding frozen turkeys and canned pumpkin in the bushes during Thanksgiving so grandchildren would have to “hunt for their supper,” like the Pilgrims.

“These traditions become part of your family,” Dr. Duke said.

Decades of research have shown that most happy families communicate effectively. But talking doesn’t mean simply “talking through problems,” as important as that is. Talking also means telling a positive story about yourselves. When faced with a challenge, happy families, like happy people, just add a new chapter to their life story that shows them overcoming the hardship. This skill is particularly important for children, whose identity tends to get locked in during adolescence.

The bottom line: if you want a happier family, create, refine and retell the story of your family’s positive moments and your ability to bounce back from the difficult ones. That act alone may increase the odds that your family will thrive for many generations to come.

This article is adapted from Bruce Feiler’s recently published book, “The Secrets of Happy Families: How to Improve Your Morning, Rethink Family Dinner, Fight Smart, Go Out and Play, and Much More.”

—

Dental Injuries In Young Children

LilyToad — Thu, 14 Mar 2013 15:40:05 +0000

Thanks to a very hard fall onto the wooden arm of a couch when I was very little, under two years old, I had all of my front teeth pulled. Needless to say it was a very different kind of face I showed the world for many years to come. I had no front teeth until my second set of teeth finally came in. With great empathy for the topic of this article I just came across, I am sharing some important information about dental injuries in young children.

Dental Injuries in Young Children

by Dr. Angie Baechtold / Sixty Second Parent

Dental trauma in young children is very common. Pediatric dentists often hear stories about a child hitting the edge of a tub or coffee table or hard floor surface. It is estimated that 30 to 50 percent of children have some type of injury to a baby or primary tooth or to the mouth during their childhood. A child learning to crawl and walk combined with excitement, spirit of adventure, and curiosity can result in an unexpected quick fall or collision.

Since a child’s facial bones are developing and growing, they are considered somewhat pliable. It is likely that the force from a fall or bump will cause a baby tooth to move out of position more often than fracture. A child’s mouth is similar to an immature green tree limb. If a force is encountered, it is more likely to bend out of position rather than break.

There are many categories of dental injuries and the type of injury determines which treatment is necessary. A tooth that completely comes out of its socket or the mouth is called an avulsion. A baby tooth is typically not re-implanted, because there is a high likelihood that it will abscess from an infection in the area. The opposite is true for permanent teeth, which usually are re-implanted. An avulsed permanent tooth needs to be preserved in milk or saliva and then re-implanted and splinted into position within one hour for the best prognosis.

If a tooth is displaced out of its regular position, it is called a luxation or extrusion. Depending on the extent of the displacement, a dentist can determine if repositioning is necessary.

Although not as common, baby teeth that sustain a fracture need evaluation to determine the amount of tooth structure that is involved and if nerve exposure has occurred. Bonding these teeth with dental restorations will improve esthetics, decrease sensitivity, and protect the enamel and dentin. In certain instances, treatment of the nerve chamber of the tooth is necessary.

Occasionally a primary tooth will be partially or completed pushed up into the gums, this is known as an intrusion. Sometimes a caregiver may think the child has knocked out the tooth when the tooth has been pushed vertically into the bone completely out of sight. In these cases, the dentist will take radiographs of the area to note the location of the injured primary tooth in relationship to the developing permanent teeth. Fortunately, many significantly intruded teeth re-erupt within months.

A dental concussion refers to a tooth that has had a significant bump but does not move out of position and may show bleeding around the gingiva. These teeth need to be monitored long term for color change and possible nerve changes.

In rare cases, the visible portions of the tooth may appear not to be affected by a trauma, while beneath the surface there is a horizontal or vertical root fracture or alveolar bone facture. This would be diagnosed through dental radiographs. The extent of the fracture determines if the tooth can be preserved or requires removal.

To see images of the different types of injuries see the Dental Trauma Guide

A pediatric dentist is trained to handle young children and treat the types of injuries mentioned above. Parents should call their dentist if a child has a tooth causing pain or sensitivity. If a tooth is broken, loose, or missing after trauma, it is best to be seen for an evaluation.

If bleeding does not stop after 10 minutes of pressure, sutures may be needed. If there is jaw pain upon opening or closing, it is necessary to seek care. If there is difficulty swallowing or breathing, a caregiver should seek emergency medical attention.

Dental accidents can happen quickly. There often is not enough time to prevent a fall or tumble. Finding a dentist early for your child ensures that you will have a doctor to call if you have a question or concern.

By Dr. Angie Baechtold - Dr. Angie Baechtold is a Board Certified Pediatric Dentist with Great Beginnings Pediatric and Adolescent Dental Specialists.

—

The Hungry Hoard At My Table

LilyToad — Tue, 12 Mar 2013 15:45:51 +0000

As another round of holiday meals is approaching I thought I’d share…

Some of my fondest memories are of large holiday gatherings. When the gathering is happening in my house you can be sure that I’m going all out to make it a special occasion. I plan out my menu. I shop with careful consideration of every part of the meal. I try to be innovative and definitely festive. Being a designer I take special care to decorate and present my creation in a way that I hope will bring delight to my guests the moment they see my handiwork. It is with great pride and anticipation that I put myself through the rigors of preparation and presentation. While this might sound like a lot of self-inflicted angst, it is always a labor of love. The moment I hear the praise of “what a lovely table,” or “something smells good,” I know I’m on the track to success.

There is one element of this process that I have no control over. It is the hungry hoard that pounces on my table before I’ve had a chance to thoroughly secure it. I’ve learned over the years that you can never let your guard down. From the moment you start setting the table and the time is approaching for serving and plating a meal you are obligated to call in the troops and fortify the table with whatever means necessary to protect and defend your presentation. Sounds like wartime strategy. Trust me, it is. You may be thinking that I’m being a little too uptight about all of this. Understand, I’m not talking about the occasional swiping of a radish off of the table. Or a finger dipping into sauce to see how it tastes. Let me make it perfectly clear to all that would think I’m making a big deal out of nothing – locusts have more manners than these people.

Let me paint a picture for you. The concept of this piece is a serene setting at a dinner table. The tablecloth and napkins have been chosen to match the centerpiece to perfection. Candles are flickering with a certain elegance that calms the soul. The place settings adorn the table like charms on a bracelets. Each setting has a meaning because it has been placed at the table for a specific person. The food that has been prepared, with much attention to detail and love, is served in dishes and bowls that are steaming and ready to be enjoyed. Each bowl is finished off with a touch of pride – some parsley on the mashed potatoes, some lemon zest on the carrots, a touch of paprika on the chicken to give it some color. The glasses sparkle like a string of lights. The silverware is set with precision to finish off the table. This is a picture of love. Whoever the artist is, it is obvious that they care deeply for those who will soon partake in this bounty.

Can you feel the love? Does a twang of pride resonate with you? Is the labor behind this obvious to you? If so, you are not like the people who will soon descend on my table. Before I can get the table set, someone is swiping a glass because they find it easier than going to the glass cabinet. The silverware starts to move about as people mingle around the table. The candles that accompany the centerpiece are barely lit when the hoard starts squaring up at the table. As I try to quickly prepare each dish and place it on the table, they are twitching and stomping about like horses being loaded into the starting gate. If I’m lucky I can get the last bowl set on the table before it all goes bad. My intent is to complete my masterpiece so that my audience can bask in my creative genius.

Instead I am met with hands flailing about as they descend on my glorious creation with wanton abandon. There is no adherence to any form of etiquette. There is no attempt to savor the food that’s been set before them. Any attempt at saying grace or any other form of thanksgiving is futile. More often I am left standing there with bowls of food in my hands attempting to complete the presentation process. I beg and plead for everybody to wait one sec until I’m done. Rushing back and forth from the kitchen to the table I summon up all the skills I have available to my being. Speed, mastery of cooking, negotiating tactics, and ultimately bribery (dessert).

In the end it’s all for naught. I’m resolved to the fact that there is nothing a mere mortal can do to quell this feeding frenzy. All attempts at a civilized gathering are futile. It was yet again my own naive assumption that I could overcome the odds and finally enjoy that picture I’ve had painted in my mind for so many years. Rest assured, I will try again, and again, and again, and again… I may have lost the battle, but my war wages on. Does any of this ring true for any of you? I’m curious to know if anyone else has encountered the difficulties I face. It would be great to hear from you. If for nothing else than to know that my guests are not the only people on this planet with less than stellar manners, I implore you to pass along your own tales of holiday gathering ineptitude.

By Gret Boyd

—

Mom Finds Devastating “Diet List” on 7-Year-Old’s Bedroom Floor

LilyToad — Tue, 12 Mar 2013 15:19:40 +0000

As a mom we are aware of the pressures put on our little girls to be “pretty” and “fit”. You do your best to steer your daughter in the right direction so she makes good choices when it comes to what she eats and her activity level. All the while you think you’re doing the right thing. When do the influences get to be too much? Was it something you said or did? Is someone outside the family making comments that are pushing your daughter to excess? At what age should you start to be concerned about your child’s self image? If nothing else, this article will make you think. It will make you want to pay closer attention to how focused your daughter is on her physical being.

Mom Finds Devastating “Diet List” On 7-Year-Old’s Bedroom Floor

by Eileen Kelly / from Lifetime Moms

How would you feel if you found this “diet list” in your seven year-old daughter’s room?

This is what Australian mom Amy Cheney found among her daughter’s toys in her bedroom.

Note the title. Diyet.

“Seventeen Poosh-ups two times a day. Three Appals, Two Keewee Froots. 5 glases of water. Jog/run up and down the driv way 3 times.”

This girl is seven years old.

In her blog, Ms. Cheney talks about how angry she was when she found her daughter’s “diet.” She asked herself all the questions I would ask myself. How did this happen? What/who is to blame? Is it playing with Barbies? Is it TV? Is it…me?

“I am smart about this stuff,” Ms. Cheney writes. “I have a degree in early childhood studies. Our family focuses on and promotes healthy eating and healthy bodies. Our attitudes are reasonable and balanced. Weight has never been an issue in our home – it is, for the most part, irrelevant.”

I think it’s better that this girl is aware of the importance of eating healthy foods and exercise than if she was lying on the couch all day eating Doritos and drinking Hawaiian Punch. But is this the beginning of anorexia? No kid should be this focused on what they eat.

In response to this topic, some cite celebrities like Adele and Melissa McCarthy as body image role models. I don’t agree. Obesity is not the solution to society’s pressure to be thin. Being healthy, strong and fit. That’s the answer. Showing an anorexic person a picture of someone who is obese and telling them that that’s the way they should look is the quickest way to send them reaching for the laxatives.

As a parent in 2013 we have so many more challenges than our parents did. When I was a kid, we played outside because there was nothing else to do. There were Saturday morning cartoons for a few hours, Sunday was a television wasteland and weekdays there was an hour of cartoons after school. If I wanted to watch TV after the “Jetsons” was over, it was reruns of “Good Times” or the early news. After I’d seen every “Good Times” episode twice over, playing outside was really my only option. Nobody had to tell me to do it. But with 24-hour kid programming on Nick, Cartoon Network and Disney, I have to constantly be on my kids about their “screen time.” It’s exhausting.

Same goes for food. There are so many more junk food options now. Every movie has some sort of junk cereal or snack tie-in. And even the snacks that we grew up with have been “optimized” to make us eat more of them. Product optimization is when food engineers alter the formula with the sole intent of finding the most “perfect” version of a product. One that will make the consumer want to eat more of it, and with ingredients that cost the company the least amount of money. So things we ate and drank as kids that used to have sugar now have high fructose corn syrup and often an artificial sweetener as well.

Parents are up against a lot. It’s truly us against them when it comes to the food industry. We’re in a battle to keep our families healthy.

I try to focus on food as fuel. I’ve explained to my kids that their bodies have engines and what they put into their mouths determines whether they’ll have energy to do the things they like to do. When we’re at the grocery store, I tell my kids that if something has a princess or a superhero on it, it’s junk. As my daughter now explains it, “That’s the company’s way of trying to trick kids into eating it, but it’s not good for your body. Real food, like ice cream, doesn’t need princesses.” Well, she mostly got the message.

How do you promote healthy living in your house?

—

Protection from Whooping Cough Vaccine (DTaP) Wanes Over Time

LilyToad — Tue, 12 Mar 2013 14:45:14 +0000

I just came across this article from whattoexpect.com and thought I’d pass along the information…

Protection from Whooping Cough Vaccine (DTaP) Wanes Over Time

by Sharon Mazel

Your little one gets vaccinated against whooping cough (pertussis), diphtheria, and tetanus with the DTaP vaccine five times before age six, but a new study published in the journal Pediatrics finds that protection against pertussis starts to weaken just a few years after preschool kids get their final shot and well before children get their recommended booster (called Tdap) at age 11 or 12.

Researchers used immunization records and illness data to track more than 400,000 children born in Oregon and Minnesota between 1998 and 2003 and who received the five DTaP shots before age six. The scientists continued to follow the children over the next six years and found that nearly 550 children – a little over one out of every 1,000 kids — contracted whooping cough. In fact, from 2007 to 2009, reported pertussis cases among seven- to 10-year-olds rose from 13 percent to 23 percent, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). Experts say this startling increase in pertussis cases suggests the vaccine’s protection isn’t as strong as previously believed. They suspect the new trend results from the change in the 1990s to the new type of pertussis vaccine – the acellular vaccine (that’s the “a” in DTaP) – which comes with fewer side effects than the older version but seems to offer shorter-lasting protection.

Will doctors switch back to the older version of the vaccine because it confers stronger immunity? Unlikely, say researchers. Should kids get their booster earlier? Probably not, since the booster is currently offered at the same time as other vaccines, making it easier to administer since children are already in their doctor’s office. For now experts agree it’s best to keep to the current CDC vaccine schedule since it’s the best protection you can give to your child. Remember, children who receive all five doses of DTaP on time will have a milder case of whooping cough (should they catch the illness) compared to those who are unvaccinated or under-vaccinated.

Keep contagious pertussis bacteria at bay by getting the Tdap vaccine yourself - especially if you’re expecting or TTC — and urge everyone in your house to the same. Experts say that 80 percent of those who aren’t immunized against whooping cough will catch it if someone in their home is infected.

—

Kids. Clothes. Choices. Oh my…

LilyToad — Mon, 28 Jan 2013 17:39:18 +0000

A great way to express one’s individuality is through the clothes you choose to wear. The end result can be interesting and expressive when it’s an adult accomplishment – humorous, playful and sometimes “out there” when it’s a child. I have to say, for me, clothing/fashion, is always a statement. It’s a very personal way to show off how you feel about yourself and your place in this world. It’s a way of expressing emotions. Like any design element, it initiates thought and a conversation. Whether you engage a person based on what they are wearing or spend time with them in your mind, you are giving them some consideration. Who is this person? Wonder what they like/don’t like? What do they do? All sorts of things run through your mind. You may not even be aware of it. As your brain scans what your eyes see it instantly starts to form an opinion, a relationship, and decides how you relate to what you’ve just seen.

As our kids get older they eventually reach the stage where they learn to dress themselves. A huge accomplishment for a child. At this point they are so proud of this new skill that it doesn’t really matter to them which pair of socks they’ve learned to put on. Just the fact that they can get that blue sock on their foot is good enough for them. Time goes by and they begin to recognize that all clothes are not the same. I like the hoodie my brother wears to school. I don’t like the pants my mom bought me to wear to grandma’s birthday party. At this point kids are learning that they can make choices. They are developing their own sense of themselves. Their personalities start to shine. As a parent, the worst thing you can do is forget that each child is unique. At this stage in their development you have to take a step back and let them show you who they want to be.

Aside from all of the benchmarks and benefits associated with the newfound discovery of the ability to chose, there are some interesting family dynamics that accompany this phase in your child’s life. I’ll post some links for you if you’re interested in the child development aspects of all of this. For now, let’s explore some of the fun and contentious moments involving what your kids choose to wear.

____________________

Your pre-schooler received a sweatshirt silk screened with a dinosaur as a birthday present. It instantly became the go-to top to wear. In the beginning it was great because it made getting dressed a quick and easy endeavor. Three months down the road and that same sweatshirt has now shrunk in the wash. It is now a muted shade of its original color. The poor little dinosaur has started to lose his tail thanks to the daily exposure to outdoor play. The once easily recognizable silhouette of dino is now tarnished with the remnants of catsup, grape juice, a little blood, and some brown stuff of which you have no idea of its origin.

The time has come for a change. Now how can you make this inevitable change a fun experience? I know, you take your child to the store with the intention of purchasing the perfect replacement. You go through the racks of clothes and hold up each potential new favorite and it is barely acknowledged. The toy they brought with them is much more interesting. You’re committed to this tactic and purchase a few new tops. Back home you go.

A new day is dawning. It’s time to get up and go. Let’s get dressed. You step into your son’s bedroom and he is a puddle of tears. It seems you forgot to mention to him yesterday that you were “giving his old sweatshirt a new home”. The world is just not right for him without this shirt – there are no substitutes! Quick thinker that you are you open the closet and pull out the new shirts. Surely their vibrant colors and cute characters will entice your son to see things your way. Not so fast mom… He turns his back on you and goes over to his toy box. Digs a little bit and comes up with his new favorite. You didn’t know that was in there did you? Turns out it’s an equally tattered and torn hoodie that he swiped from his brother. Oh… that’s where that hoodie went? Your son has spoken. This is his decree. I shall wear this “new” hoodie today. You smile. You have to smile at stuff like this. The world is not coming to an end. The day, in fact, has only just begun. Life is good in your house right now.

____________________

You have two daughters. Pre-teens. Two different personalities. Two different mindsets. One doesn’t give a dam about her clothes. The other is all about the complete ensemble. On any given day there is an issue with clothing. For the casual daughter you are continually reminding her that the grunge look is out. She is a girl. You’d kinda like her to look like one. Anything slightly feminine would make you happy. Instead she insists on putting together outfits that look like she’s ready to clean out a barn.

Now think about this for a bit. What is she telling you? She’s telling you and the world that she is not impressed by the superficial machinations involving clothes. She is what she is. Look at me. I’m more than a pretty girl. I’m a brain. Perhaps she hasn’t given it all that much thought. Maybe she’s just telling you that she’s lazy. Maybe she’s the recipient of some nasty comments when she wears a dress. Maybe you need to chill out and just have a little chat with her. As someone who has been on the receiving end of a screaming parent I know the first thing a kid does is tune you out. A much better move is to have some thoughtful conversation.

Without putting your daughter in a defensive pose try to find out what she is trying to express through her choices. Is she involved with a group of friends that all dress this way? Does she have some body image issue that needs to be discussed? Is there a self esteem problem brewing? Is she the outdoors type and just feels more comfortable dressed like this? Whatever you do, don’t pounce on her like she’s done something wrong. The only crime she’s committed is picking out clothes that you don’t care for. There’s a great way to connect with your kids. Let them know they are being heard.

Your more fashion forward daughter has developed quite the talent for visual essay with her clothing choices. She can put together combinations that leave you speechless. Not that any of her wardrobe choices are truly offensive, you just question the advisability of partnering skinny jeans, a tutu, and cowboy boots. Keep in mind that all of this makes perfect sense to your daughter. She is a fashion rebel. She is a pushing the envelope – thinking out of the box. That’s great you think, but I don’t know if I’m all that comfortable going to my son’s kindergarten recital with a daughter who could give Lady Gaga a run for her money fashion wise. Think about it mom. How do your kids feel about the way you dress? Hah… you never did think about that did you?

Time for a little give and take. Unless she’s dressing in an inappropriate way for her age or not dressing enough (if you get my drift), I think there’s some leeway. It’s concessions time… spin the wheel. Have a little chat. Set some boundaries. As long as she feels like you’re accepting her for the person she wants to be she’ll keep listening. Acknowledge that you see her flare for fashion. Acknowledge her unique style. Hopefully with a little thoughtful back and forth the two of you will be able to find ways and circumstances where she will be able to express herself and you will be able to feel comfortable and connected to your daughter. Maybe the skinny jeans and the cowboy boots are ok, but we leave the tutu home on the night of her brother’s kindergarten recital. Maybe on the next trip to Saturday Market you let her be herself. Sometimes having a friend or two who dress the same way will take the edge off an unconventional outfit. If she wants to go to a movie with some girlfriends and they all decide to dress like an anime cartoon, what’s the harm in that? Remember to smile when you see this. Take a photo too. Someday you’ll look at that picture and turn to each other and just smile.

____________________

High school is a lot of things for kids. In so many ways they feel the stresses of adulthood looming in their not so distant future. There are so many choices to be made. So many expectations. It’s easy to feel like you’re just a number waiting in line for your future to begin. One really great thing that I’ve noticed with kids as they hit their teens is their ability to tap into the things that really excite them. Their passion. Some have to work on this by experimenting with different sports, or the arts, or a certain field of study. Once they hit on something that resonates with them they want to make it a part of themselves and show the world who they are. They become that passion that has taken over their lives. I think this is one facet of how peer groups form. We’ve all seen the different groups in school. The jocks. The drama club. The science group. The tech crew. In your mind’s eye you can see what they look like.

With this in mind, when your teen starts choosing clothes that you might find offensive, provocative, confrontational, anti-social, and the like, it might be time to take stock of what they are telling you. At this age I don’t think you can impose your will on them when it comes to choices. By now you should have instilled in them the skills they need to make decisions. There is a process to making a good decision. If you think your teen has thought things through and can actually tell you why they want to dress the way they do I think you’ve accomplished your goal. On the other hand if the way they dress is more an act of defiance and appears to be out of character, it should be a call to action to find out what is going on in your teen’s world.

I am speaking for myself right now – I have great respect for people who dress outside the norm. If it is being done with total confidence in yourself and the statement you are displaying I can’t argue with your choices. If on the other hand it is being done as a way to bring attention to yourself, as a way to fit in, call for help, defy authority, or any other negative motive I find it disturbing. Back to the kids… Find the time to talk to your teen. What’s going on in their life? Maybe the clothes they’ve been wearing in a way of telling you visually what they can’t tell you verbally. Perhaps you child doesn’t want to be a doctor or a lawyer and so they’ve decided to dress with a more theatrical flare hoping that will be the impetus toward a conversation about their future desires. By this age your child knows what they like and dislike, what they want and don’t want. All a parent has to do is be there for them. Support those decisions. Make sure they have been thoroughly processed and are genuine. Be proud of the individual that stands in front of you. If you’ve given them all the tools to be the best person they can be on the inside, don’t be so fretful about their outside attire. A good kid is a good kid. Period.

Life is too short to get hung up on superficial shortcomings. Kids grow up quicker than we ever imagined. Pick your battles wisely. Compromise whenever it’s prudent. Most of all listen and be engaged. And on the day your daughter tries to go to school with a pink sequined scarf wrapped around her head like a turban simply ask her, “Did you remember to pack your lunch?”

If you’d like to read more about the importance of offering a child the opportunity to choose, I’ve pulled some articles for you. Here are the links:

Offering Children Choices: Encouraging Autonomy and Learning While Minimizing Conflicts, by Sue Grossman Ph. D / Early Childhood News
Teach Your Child How To Make Good Choices / Teach Kids How
Helping Your Children Make Good Decisions, by Wayne Parker / About.com

By Gret Boyd

Green socks. Red shoes. Yellow shirt. Pants stained with glue.Kids.—Green socks. Red shoes. Yellow shirt. Pants stained with glue.

Birthday Parties – Necessity, Obsession, or Treat?

LilyToad — Wed, 26 Sep 2012 15:35:31 +0000

Birthday Parties – Necessity, Obsession, or Treat?

Today on the morning news I saw a story about a man in Florida who has saved his business by offering alligator pool parties for birthdays. The man is experienced with alligators, mind you, and so he feels that it’s a perfectly safe offering. He must know something about the current state of birthday parties because he is doing quite well with this endeavor. Here is the link to the news story if you’re interested in seeing what his alligator pool parties are like.

Anyway, this got me thinking…

Do parents feel obligated to have a birthday party EVERY year for their child?
If you do have a party, MUST it be a big event in order to be considered successful?
Have you ever spent more than you know you could afford on a birthday party?
What would happen if you toned down your child’s future birthday parties?

I can only speak from my personal experience with birthday parties. For my family a birthday was always a special day, but an “event” was never a prerequisite for it being thoroughly enjoyed or what one might consider a “success”. I grew up in a subdivision where birthday parties were common in the neighborhood. I do remember attending a few. While we always celebrated my kids’ birthdays I will admit that I never felt compelled to have a party. It was always a family day for us. Geez, now that I think about it, it never even occurred to me that I might have disappointed them by not having the traditional birthday party. Too late now for the mea culpa. I doubt they’ll be needing any therapy to overcome any feelings of neglect .

I surely know that birthday parties are quite popular these days. Why wouldn’t they be? Parties are a good excuse to have fun! In our attempts to provide a life filled with love, joy and happiness are we, as parents, reaching the tipping of point of overindulgence. Have birthday parties become an obligation? Are kids now entitled to be feted on the day they were born? Sorry for the cynical tone – just asking?

Getting back to parental obligations… Is there some fine print on a birth certificate that requires parents to hold a birthday bash EVERY year? Do you think your kids would mind if you toned down their birthday party this year? Maybe just have a family get together. And what about the presents? On top of the expense, time, and labor involved in a birthday bash, there is the issue of birthday presents. Not just for the birthday child’s parents, but for every child that’s been invited to the party. I bet some of you are shaking your head up and down in agreement with me here. I know how tough it can be when your child has multiple birthday parties to attend in one month. Sure, the invitations aren’t offered with malicious intent. It’s just the sound of the register ringing up yet another birthday gift that you can’t get out of your head sometimes. And let’s acknowledge re-gifting. Yes, you heard me. I see that smile on your face. Don’t tell me you never forgot about a birthday party only to be faced with the dilemma of not having a gift on hand. Quick… scour the house and find something!

Ultimately we all agree that a birthday party done well (any party for that matter) is a thing of beauty. If you can pull together all the elements that insure that a fun time is had by all you feel like you just made the summit. Mission accomplished! If we get caught in the cycle of more and more and better and bigger we are notching up the stress factor every year that passes. At some point your party stops feeling like fun and starts feeling like just another obligation. Even if it’s for your own child. Parents are human – never forget that. Families are more than orchestrated moments with predetermined expectations of joy. The lasting memories will always be the time you’ve spent together. The words you share. The hugs you cherish. The photos you take. The ways you show your child just how much you love them.

I’d love to hear from all of you. How do you handle birthdays in your family?

I’ve pulled some links for you to read – some commentary about birthday parties.

Birthday Parties For Kids: Managing The Overkill, via huffingtonpost.com
Skipping Kids Birthday Parties – How Bad?, via ParentDish
Do You Have A Birthday Party For Your Children Every Year?, via askville/by Amazon (Ask a Question community page)

One final note: Happy Birthday!!!!!

By Gret Boyd

—